Let’s face it, not all workdays are the same. Sometimes we love our jobs. Sometimes not so much. And that's OK.
If your calendar is anything like mine, you're often squeezing ten or more meetings into what is supposed to be an 8 hour workday. Your emails are coming in faster than you can respond to them. For every email I write or handle, two more (or more!) come in. You barely stay above water. Then you go into one of these millions of meetings and someone starts speaking over you, you can't get a word in edgewise. You feel the tension building, you're trying to talk yourself off the ledge and being careful to not say what you're really thinking... and let me guess, it's not even lunchtime yet.
By this point, you may already feel horrible. And that's because our stress lives in our bodies.
We often think of stress as a mental game, but the truth is: it’s deeply physical.
When you’re overwhelmed or irritated at work, your nervous system kicks into fight or flight. That stress isn't just in your head. Ever noticed your hips feel tight after a tense day? Or your lower back aches after hours of holding in frustration?
Studies show that emotional stress tends to accumulate in areas like the hips, jaw, shoulders, and chest. Left unaddressed, this can lead to chronic tightness, disrupted sleep, and even a weakened immune system. And yes, it can make you feel like snapping at people you normally enjoy.
As leaders, we often feel the need to hold it all together, to be the positive energy when things are going sideways in the office. But what happens when you’re the one unraveling?
You still need to lead with positivity. You still need to inspire your team. But you also need a way to decompress without faking it or taking it home to your family.
Here are some ideas on how to do that:
1. Micro-Release Moments
Build breaks to decompress into your day. Don't wait until the day ends to release the stress.
• Take 2-minute breaks every hour if you can, or at least every few hours to just breathe. Step into a hallway, bathroom, or car, and do box breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4). Box breathing slows your heart rate and helps your body shift out of that fight or flight mode. You will reduce stress hormones and start to feel more in control again.
• Stand up and stretch your hips and spine. Just 30 seconds of movement can reset your nervous system.
• Relax your jaw and unclench your fists. Sounds simple, but these are unconscious signs of bracing for what's about to happen next.
2. Manage Feelings Without Holding Them In
Feeling like yelling, crying, or quitting is human, especially under pressure and especially on bad days.
But when you are also needing to stay professional, it's a good idea to pause before reacting.
- Name what you’re feeling: “I’m frustrated.” Just labeling an emotion helps reduce its power.
- Channel some of this stress into movement. A brisk walk, a quick stretch behind a closed office door, or even scribbling in a notebook can shift that angry or overwhelmed energy.
- Find a trusted person at work and talk it out with them or get a coach you can work with. Venting safely keeps it from spilling onto the wrong people.
3. Dealing With Difficult Colleagues
If someone’s stepping on your toes, or getting a little agressive in a meeting, it’s tempting to shrink or explode. Instead, try this:
• Hold firm with boundaries: “I want to collaborate, but I need space to lead my area effectively.”
• Speak in facts, not emotions: “When X happens, it impacts productivity. Let’s find a better way.”
4. Be the Light, Even When You Feel Dim
You don’t have to radiate sunshine when you’re struggling. But you can model calmness, self-respect, and confidence. And sometimes the best bet is to be honest and transparent with the people you work with.
“Hey team, I’m juggling a lot today, my door will be closed and I may be a little quiet, but I’m here if you need me.”
Remember, your team doesn’t expect perfection, they know you are human, but they do need you to be there when their days are tough too.
5. Most Importantly: Don’t Take It Home
Before you walk through your front door, pause.
Consider doing a “transition ritual.” This could be as simple as a 60-second meditation in your car, or even a mantra you say out loud, “Workday is over. Home mode is on.”
When you get inside, change out of those crunchy work clothes, maybe take a minute in your room by yourself, or find another ritual that gives you five minutes to just shift your mind to the next part of your day.
Just remember...
Stress is inevitable, but how you handle it is your choice. As leaders, we set the tone not by being invincible, but by being honest and intentional.
Take a break, take a breath, get some movement, walk away from your desk when you need to. And remember: taking care of yourself isn’t indulgent. Taking care of you is what will ultimately make you a better leader for everyone else.
When you're ready to release what’s weighing you down, Zen210 Wellness is here to help you breathe, move, and begin again. Reach out to me on our contact page and find out how you can get a free 30-minute wellness session.
